Dear Abby: The pandemic has put a strain on the relationship. Last year I lost my best friend in 40 years because of the COVID vaccine. I believe the vaccine helps protect me and also helps my family and friends. This friend decided that he and his family would not take the hit. He quit his job instead of getting vaccinated. This caused such a wide gap that in his eyes he and his family could not continue to be friends with our family. I’m sad about that.
The big problem my wife and I are struggling with concerns our 8-year-old daughter. She has been friends with the daughter of my (former) best friend since birth. It was eight years of overnight stays, birthdays, park visits, meetings and everything else. We haven’t seen them in six months. We can’t keep telling our daughter that the pandemic is the reason she can’t see her best friend. This situation is so simple and so complicated. What will I tell my daughter about her best friend? – RIGHT OF TIME
Dear victim: Tell your daughter the truth – that her friend’s parents will not allow it anymore. Then explain why. So she won’t think it’s her fault.
Dear Abby: I was recently approached by my graduating class to help organize a meeting. Since then, one of the organizers has decided that our committee is an inseparable trio that should meet regularly through Zoom and from time to time in person.
We had no contact before the meeting, and we have little in common, but I can say that she is lonely, so I have tolerated her so far. However, now she wants to periodically gather for a long weekend in the next living room. I don’t want to leave my husband and wife for a long weekend or spend money and time on a person I don’t want to be friends with.
When I tried to object to the excuses of “unavailability,” she insisted we were a trio and we would just wait a few weeks until I found an open date. I don’t want to be rude, but I can’t understand how politely to tell her that I’m not interested in accepting her suggestions about a long party. How should I handle this? – GREAT GRADUATES IN THE WEST
Dear graduate: Do this honestly with this demanding person. Tell her, “This is not going to happen. I don’t want to leave my husband for the weekend. I don’t mind helping with the meeting, but your demands by my time have grown to the point that there are too many of them. For me.”
Dear Abby: The season of pleasant weather and outdoor concerts is approaching. Invariably we sit next to chatterboxes. These people don’t seem to notice anyone else, including the performers and the rest of us who want to enjoy the performance. I understand these are free concerts, but I don’t want to listen to these rude people. Any suggestions on keeping them quiet so we can hear why the others came? – DISGUSTING IN SOUTH CAROLINA
Dear disgusting: Keep your tone civil. You may ask, “Could you talk quieter? We’re trying to enjoy the performance.” However, if they do not accept your offer, think about moving away from them as far as possible.
Written by “Dear Abby” by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and founded by her mother Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or mailbox 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
