Dear Abby: I have a girlfriend “Dawn”, one of my older friends. She is my only friend who has stuck with me through the pain of growth and the different stages in my life. I married a man I consider the love of a lifetime. He is very macho and proud. We have built a life together, and through stepchildren, exes and family – through fat and thin – our love is enduring.
Well, my husband is also passionate. Don recently asked me to be the godmother of her second child, her son. My husband is offended that I was asked, but he was not. He had never sought friendship with Don and her husband and had not even met her son since his birth many months ago. He doesn’t want to be involved in the process, which upsets me a lot.
What am I doing? Should I ignore my husband’s feelings, be a good friend and godmother to baby Don and fight the consequences with my husband? – POTENTIAL godmother in Arizona
Dear potential godmother: Your husband seems to be not only cowardly but also somewhat self-centered and controlling. It would be interesting to know why he is sulking, since he is not close with your girlfriend and is not particularly interested in her child. The fact that one spouse is asked to become a godfather does NOT automatically mean that the other must be a godfather. Some children have only one godfather; others have them in a few. If you want to be the godmother for the boy Don, do it – and don’t feel like you need to apologize for it.
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Dear Abby: I am worried that my 23 year old son may be in serious financial trouble. He has always made it clear that he wants to run a business rather than work from 9 to 5. For the past four to five years he has worked hard trying to start a consulting business that sometimes works and sometimes doesn’t.
It depends on my credit card, which he had to use only in emergencies, but sometimes he uses it not just for that. I pay my credit card bills and he owes me all the money he collected from them. He promises to return the money and comes up with the strangest excuses if he can’t.
On a number of occasions, I’ve tried to plant him and get rid of him when he’s in trouble, but he keeps insisting that “work on things and soon everything will be fine”. I want to support, but I see that the debt is growing and the number of lies is increasing. I’m worried about him. Please help. – ANXIOUS MOTHER IN Pennsylvania
Dear mom: Turn off the tap. You have been your son’s “angel” for a long time. A business that cannot support itself is a failure. It is very sad that your son is abusing your generosity and lying to you. The way to stop this cycle is to remove it from your credit card and allow the chips to fall where they can. If he needs a business partner, then it should no longer be you.
To my readers: Today is the day to wear green! Very happy to you all on St. Patrick’s Day. – LOVE, ABBY
Written by “Dear Abby” by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or mailbox 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
