Dear Abby: My boyfriend has such a bad habit when we meet new people. This can range from a neighbor to one like our host. During the conversation, he will lie and exaggerate certain facts about his life, our life or something more sensitive, such as our financial situation (which, I add, is bad).
It worries me because I am an honest person who finds no reason to lie to the people I meet. If this is a topic I don’t want to discuss, I keep my mouth shut. Example: He told our neighbors that we would consider buying a home that we now rent, but our mortgage company will have to approve us for $ 40,000 more. The truth is that we CANNOT get a mortgage approval because our debt is too big.
At this point, it’s hard for me to determine whether I should “play along,” accidentally (or firmly) redirect the conversation or correct it. I don’t like forcing people to believe things that aren’t true. In the past he has lied to me about some serious matters. I’m sure his goal is not malicious, but I’m uncomfortable. If I try to talk to him, he will surprise me as if this is not a problem.
How should I deal with these situations in the future? It’s hard to make new friends if we’re not honest from the start. – TRUE IN MASS
Dear True: The difficulty of your boyfriend with the truth is a huge red flag. He rejects your concerns because they are not important to him – just as the truth is not important to him. I’m glad you described him as your boyfriend, not your husband. What he does will affect your future – financially and socially – if people start admitting that he is a fake. My advice to you is to finish this novel before it hurts your authority.
Dear Abby: A few years ago I bought my mother-in-law a 9 by 13 inch pot with a lid (a popular brand). While I was visiting her, she mentioned that she needed a new lid for the pan. When I asked her what happened to the original cover, she told me it was deformed. My sister then picked up the phone and said it was her fault because she kept it next to the hot oven and she melted.
I think my sister should replace the cover, but she refuses. My mother-in-law expects me to do it. Please help me figure this out. My husband thinks we should just replace him, but I honestly think his sister should. – HER WINE IN THE EAST
Honey, her fault: You may honestly think that your sister should replace the damaged cover (I, by the way, agree with this opinion), but it will not happen. So keep the peace in the family by ordering a new one for your MIL, and try to smile when you do, even if it’s more like a grimace.
Written by “Dear Abby” by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or mailbox 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.