Dear Abby: I am a supervisor at my job and feel for a married man who also works here. He is lonely and seeks my attention, communication, sex and listening to his problems. We’ve only had sex once, but I know I can’t continue this “relationship”.
It breaks my heart because I care so much about him and IF he was lonely I could have a relationship with this person. I have already told him that I will no longer accept his offer to take me home and stop me writing. He is open with his wife regarding dating other people. She also seems to be “talking” to another man outside of their marriage.
Am I deluded into thinking he will leave her for me? Will he have the same problems with me as with her? It’s hard for him to express his emotions, but I think he still loves his wife. I know their marriage is broken and it’s not my job to fix it for them or push him to choose me over her. It doesn’t have to be that way.
Please, I would be grateful for any advice you may offer. By the way, I’m also married, but my husband lives 7,000 miles away. Seven years later, his immigration status has yet to be resolved. I will probably ask him for a divorce because even though I take care of him, I no longer love the man I married. He knows I was dating someone because I told him. – IN KNOTS IN NEW YORK
Expensive in nodes: You didn’t mention whether there is a fraternization policy in your business, but if there is, then what you do can make you fire. You’ve already started to break away from this office romance, so please keep doing it.
Due to the unique circumstances of your marriage you need to make serious decisions. Do not involve your colleague in this. IF there is an opportunity to have a future with him, he must also decide whether he is satisfied with the status quo before making other commitments. I know you’re lonely, but back off for him and him.
Dear Abby: My husband for over 20 years undertook to hide decorative accessories that he does not like. Example: a designer suit packed in a box suddenly disappeared from the closet. The plug-in air freshener also disappeared from my home office. Two hours later, a lamp appeared on my bookcase, which I carried from the living room to the lobby. My complaints remain deaf. His favorite coffee mug and iPad mysteriously disappear. Can you tell him any meaning? – Shelters in Georgia
Dear Hide: Is this recent behavior, or has your husband been hiding everything during your marriage? If it is recent, your husband may need a medical examination because what you are describing may be a symptom of dementia. If he is mentally healthy, you both need to work on sharpening your communication skills and perhaps agree that before you bring home any more items you share, you won’t hate them.
Written by “Dear Abby” by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or mailbox 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
