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Dear Abby: Jealousy leads to cracks in the trio relationship Dear Abby

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Dear Abby: My best friend and I have been very close to Leia for several years. We were mostly a unit, spent every day together. But now I have a girlfriend “Kara”. She is a mutual friend of both of us.

Kara and I have only been together for a few months, but I already take great care of her. I don’t want things to change. The problem is that she envies my relationship with Leah, and Leah feels abandoned as if I’m not spending enough time with her.

I know the usual advice is to quit one or the other, but I care too much about both of them to lose one, and instead I need to find a balance. How can I have a best friend and relationship at the same time? – Pulled in two directions

Dear pulled out: Start by telling Curry that if you wanted to have an affair with Leah, it would have already happened, and that your friendship with Leah is important to you. Then tell Curry that you care about her and feel that there may be a future with her, but ONLY if she can control her jealousy and uncertainty about Leah.

After that, explain to Leah that you really care about your friendship and do not want her to feel neglected, but now that you have a girlfriend, you have less time with her than in the past. Then cross your fingers.

Dear Abby: Since childhood, I have always wanted to be useful. When people asked me for services, no matter how small or wrong they were, I was always happy to help. Recently, however, I’ve noticed that when I ask for help in return, there are very few people I can count on.

I know many people find me naive and gullible because of my willingness to help, but I have reached a point where I don’t want to do anything for anyone unless they are sincere in their friendship. How can I politely show them that I am not as ignorant and naive as they think me to be? – DISAPPOINTED AND DIVIDED

Dear disappointed: You don’t have to be confrontational or unpleasant. Achieve this goal, be less useful – MUCH less useful – to those who do not return the services you provide.

Dear Abby: We are planning a daughter’s wedding and trying to figure out how to politely ask the groom’s mother to help with finances. When is the best time, or should I ask the groom to do it? We don’t think he wants to ask her. – Poll in New Jersey

Dear poll: Have a “truth session” with your daughter and her fiancé. If the wedding they are planning is too rich for your budget, it is important to make it clear now. As for who should ask their mother to contribute, this question should come from your daughter’s fiancé, after which the conversation may or may not begin with your future father-in-law.

Written by “Dear Abby” by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or mailbox 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

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