Dear Abby: I am a divorced single mother who has finally met someone. His name is “Greg” and we’ve been dating for two months. Greg is also divorced and financially stable. The only thing I really like is that he gets along well with my teenage son.
The problem is that every two to three weeks Greg falls into a deep sleep that lasts three days. He got up to drink a glass of water or run to the store, but immediately fell asleep again. This causes him to miss work, and often in these episodes he becomes verbally abusive.
At Christmas I saw him slender in just 10 minutes all weekend. When he wasn’t half asleep, he called me names, demeaning my self-esteem and told me that no one but that would ever love me would make me “better stay”. At Christmas I was left alone and crying in the dark living room.
When these episodes do not occur, he is attentive and charming. His daughter told me he had been around for so many years. I feel resentment for everything he has gone through for me in such a short amount of time, but I am afraid I will never find anyone else after I have been lonely and lonely for so long. Can I get your advice on how to view his situation? – distrustful in Oklahoma
Dear distrustful: Greg’s behavior is abnormal. Talk to him when he is conscious. Ask if he remembers what happens to his face during these long periods when he is “asleep”. Tell him that his remarks are offensive and insulting. Ask what he thinks causes these episodes. Maybe he has a negative reaction to the medication or other substance he is taking because the person you are encountering is not the Greg you love.
Greg may need a physical and neurological examination to make sure he has no medical problems. However, if he refuses, bring the line NOW and end the relationship, because without intervention they will not improve. No matter how lonely you are, PLEASE think about how lonely your future will be if you stay with him, and how much it will be detrimental to your impressive son.
Dear Abby: How do I be with a difficult colleague? I am kind, polite and courteous to this man, and they are in return short, rude and indulgent. This is the type of people who would care if I approached them and told them that my feelings hurt, and would probably make fun of me behind my back. How do I be with this person? It makes me want to quit my job. – WONDERED IN PENSILVANIA
Dear Peeved: Does this colleague treat everyone the way they treat you? If the answer is yes, then as a group document these incidents and inform your supervisor or employer that the person is creating a hostile work environment. If you’re the only employee who feels the brunt of your colleague’s hostility, you’ll have to talk to your employer yourself. And if nothing can be done to fix the situation, you may have to look for a job elsewhere.
Written by “Dear Abby” by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or mailbox 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.