Dear Abby: I am in a seven-year relationship with a beautiful woman whom I love and for whom I would do everything in the world. I feel like she would have done the same for me. She has a dog Preston, whom she loves and who has been with her since the puppy. At 16, Preston fails badly and is on his feet. Undoubtedly, his time is coming.
We planned to meet our son and grandchildren for a family holiday after a seven-hour drive. Her plan was to accompany me, but now, because of Preston’s condition, she has changed her mind. I understand that. However now she is angry that I am going alone.
I spend with her every day and always go out of my way to support her. She has no grandchildren, lost her only daughter two decades ago. I will not be alone for the weekend and will be back in a long time to be with her later.
I haven’t seen three granddaughters in a year, and who knows when else. Should I feel guilty for leaving her and the dog? I’m stuck in the middle and going to upset her or my son’s family no matter what I do. – THE MAN IN THE MIDDLE
Dear person: You stated that your partner’s only child died 20 years ago. It is possible that Preston’s puppy has become for her like a child, and the loss of it forces her to reconsider the loss of her daughter. If there is any way to handle this, postpone the visit with your son and his family until the end of the year, after Preston’s death, or ask them to come to you. If this is not possible because it is only a weekend, go visit your son and grandchildren, but keep in touch with her from afar during the visit.
Dear Abby: My first husband was tough and I divorced him in less than four years of marriage. We had two daughters. In 2016, I remarried, this time to a loving, caring person. My eldest daughter was my maid of honor. A year after our wedding she married her partner. Her father and I, including our current spouses, paid for their admission.
Since 2017, this daughter has been constantly asking us for financial help. At first we helped, but after a terrible quarrel we summed up, and she decided to completely break off our relationship. She sees us from time to time during the holidays and is polite but doesn’t call or write on my birthday or Mother’s Day, which is very insulting.
I do not know where to turn except to pray. I don’t want to alienate myself anymore. I miss her terribly, but I don’t want to get more financial benefits. Any advice will help. – A BROKEN HEART IN DELOWER
Dear with a broken heart: Do you really want to receive happy birthday and Mother’s Day, knowing that they don’t come from the heart and that you pay for them? Here’s what your daughter’s actions revealed. You did not cause this alienation; it has because you turned off the tap.
I’m sure it hurts you because that’s what your daughter intends to do. Since prayer has not helped you cope with this, consult a licensed mental health professional and I suspect you will get better results. You have my sympathy.
Written by “Dear Abby” by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or mailbox 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.